Forcing It
Your guy may be great-looking, smart and caring, but the fact is, he just ain't making your heart go ga-gung, ga-gung. Not only do you frequently edit out unflattering things about him (his bad habits, his unsatisfying lovemaking style, his tendency to piss you off) when you talk about him to friends, you feel compelled to get their approval to know if you're a good match.
"Women can talk themselves into being in love with a guy for a variety of reasons," says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., a relationship therapist in New York City and author of
Make Up, Don't Break Up. "You may be in love with the idea of love, so you fool yourself into thinking you are," says Weil. "We live in a couples' world, so having a man you care about but aren't truly crazy for sometimes seems like a better alternative to being single. A relationship becomes a status symbol." And having hordes of happily coupled-up pals doesn't exactly help the situation. "You may be feeling pressure from friends around you who are either engaged or in committed relationships and don't want to feel left behind," explains Nancy Rosenbach, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City and Long Island. "So you rush to label yourself as 'in love' and don't stop to wonder if you might have settled for someone who doesn't truly stimulate you."
The truth is, trying to talk yourself into being head over heels will only backfire. "Not only are you cheating yourself out of having a truly passionate relationship, but you're also setting yourself up to eventually become bored, take him for granted and pull away from him when someone better comes along," says Rosenbach. Perhaps it's time to make a clean split with him and consider your other guy options. "It's scary to consider breaking away from what you have and getting out there to find a better match, because you may love the consistency of having a date every Saturday night and a steady sex partner and wonder if you'll even meet someone better," says Weil. But holding on to a guy who doesn't make your pulse race does you and him a disservice. You owe it to him to be honest about your feelings, and you owe it to yourself to consider parting ways-so your heart will be open to someone who'll make it leap off the charts.
dear life
he called last evening juz wanting to knw how i am..tah ape i mengomel kat dia smlm. but i did say finally i faham why he wanted us to quit..its because u luv me so muc n u want me to be happy dpt bf/hubby yg akan buat i happy n treat me better. bein a sweet guy dat he is he said
"how can i not luv u more" hmmm..J, J..
u knw J dgn perkenalan singkat kita i think we r "special" couple God nak kita bersatu so we can learn bout ourselves better. so we knw wut we want in life.yeaaa J saya dah mula berfikir.benar2 berfikir. u alwiz suh i camtu. kata i cam budak2 tak matured all. hmm..mayb juz mayb ull b the last non malay man i hook up with..and walau dulu i slalu pandang rendah kat u tapi sebenarnya u adalah guy yg paling smart berbanding guys lain yg ada paper qualifiaction than u .perkenalan kita mmg harus berlaku..its significant untuk kita blaja dan teruskan hidup masing2..im actually glad n bertuah dapat kenal u J..dalam hidup kita yg short dan bila2 masa bleh kembali kepada our Pencipta ni dapat juga kenal a guy like u ..the total opposite of me..so diff. in every way and yet kita berdua try juga untuk bersama and gave ourselves a chance in luv. truly..bein in luv is sumthin magnificant.beyond words actually. sgt2 addictive juga.i have kalah in luv..tapi i gain a lot more...thank u J my one n only "ikan salmon" ..i luv u so muc sayanggg..and im officially letting "us" go...
n u knw mourning period adalah perlu after a break up seperti nasihat u Sis..listening to sad songggs and absorb suma kesedihan dan reminiscence bout kenangan yg manis/pahit adalah a part of healing process.
Note: all it takes is juz a lil psychology..understand how men works..pretty gd insight frm Cosmo. online...im gonna b better at da next r.ship..insyaalah afta all im only human
ps/ cant wait for Break Up movie to come out..i "heart" u Jen! do u knw 2.6.06 is offically a Break up day??
pps/ not to forget a big THANK U and HUGSS to all my frens who stood by me during ths diffi. time..Daria, Sis, Ali, Ani & Navin
