Eve of Hari Raya Itu~

Dear Life,

Esok dah raya D. kan..tetibe terkenang raya tahun lepas yang agak bitter sweet n memorable coz my birthday falls on the same day of raya. i was in M. 1st time celebrating it with his fam. after 5yrs of being together.

kalaula kan aku dapat bertahan few months aje lagi..maybe aku still in M. maybe married to him. maybelah kalau tak pun live in je masih. Dengan itu, relationship dengan family non existant lahkan.adakah perlu membuat sacrifce MAHA hebat itu untuk bersama dengan dia kan..berbaloi ke?throwing my whole life diperhambakan untuk bersama dirinya.yea aku rasa cukup bahgia dengan sisa-sisa kasih sayang diberi.cukup bahgia.tapi it wasnt enough..sebab itulah jiwa memberontak

BUT

whatever it is pun HE WAS MY DRUG. I CANT GET ENOUGH OF HIM. I NEED MY FIX ..OR ELSE..or so i tought

true relationship is bout acceptance and compromise.tapi aku rasa on my part aku lebih berkompromasi la..

i love my family . even though kadang rasa they dont even care if im alive. but i think they do care and love me.
FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST
if you dengan dia pun family "dia" pun kena datang first jugak. tapi the question is...Adakah kami dikira "Family" jika bersama? demented ah

Aku salah juga sebenarnya..tapi sedih sangat lah salahkan benda yang sudah tiada..outta my kontrol walaupun aku cuba gak nak kontrol sumanya for our relationship to be better

I called auntie tadi nak ucap selamat hari raya. tapi tak berangkat, i wonder why. dari hari tu lagi..sigh..i know she doesnt care bout our relationship. "tak masuk campur" she said

Deepavali=festival of lights

May this day brings light to your life J. I wont pikir pasal you /what you are doing right now/or who you are with...i dont want you to be happy gak..tapi i telan dalam2 perasaan ni..

penat fikir dah..penat menangis for you dah. i want you to sedar someday..tapi tah bila..yang it was a HUGE mistake leaving me. I want you to suffer how i suffer skarang..teruk betul perangai you..tak bagi i muka lansung

ive been used n dump like sampah..n my heart has been tored to pieces.. you left me alone picking up the pieces satu2 skit2 ..pelan i kutip..sepah2 cebisan hati i all over between M n KL

Ya Tuhan i know ade hikmah disebalik suma ini kan? there MUST be few..kuatkan hati ku untuk berhenti berharap dan MOVE ON

Might be you dah tak pikir pasal i pun dah. might be you dah happy sangat, lega dah u managed to get rid of me TOTALLY.

Life without you is...????entahlahhh..

Im destroying my life sedikit2 dengan sedar..by letting go of myself .the BEST REVENGE
is for me to LIVE MY LIFE HAPPILY okay

baikkkkkk, im taking it one day at a time..